Men

*The following is a preamble to touring with Slow Down Molasses. The reason I do this is I have yet to see them. But this story is very Montreal, I assure you.*

I had approximately one job interview in precisely four months in Montreal. Hilariously, it was for Fox Broadcasting for a men’s website called Askmen.com. I didn’t really want a job but it seemed foolish to not go. But in preparing, I was suddenly forced to evaluate my masculinity.

What would I ask men? And how would I respond? The answer was actually somewhat clear, the one that all men knew but few cared to admit: “I don’t know.”

I had never felt particularly manly. I had played sports as a kid – not well. And I had maybe driven a truck once. But I truly had no idea what it meant to be a man. Suddenly forced to articulate it in a general interest article, I started reaching: I wrote about cooking with curry (at the job interview, when asked why curry, my reply would be “lunch”).

It was strange that I had even gotten the job interview, and my article certainly did not ‘wow’. Cooking isn’t typically considered manly, as it is stereotypically women’s work. And like any stereotype worth its salt the truth of the statement could be measured in ounces, cups and gallons.

This was especially apparent growing up with the women in my family. They take turns fretting over the stove. They strong-arm vegetables, pulverizing and pureeing in a dazzling display of strength. And they literally crush entire meals with their bare hands.

But I came to realize that cooking is one of my ultimate expressions of manliness. Commandeering the kitchen, I become confident and powerful. I control what will be consumed and by who. I am the provider. As I cook I reach a Zen-like state of relaxation. And my knowledge of food and its preparation has been enough to steam the pants off of someone – tres manly!

In the end I didn’t get the job at the men’s website (merci monsieur!). Instead I brushed up on being manly. I spent my time cooking, frying, boiling, peeling, brazing and broiling. And steaming the pants off of someone.